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[Sans has plenty of experience when it comes to lying to himself, more even than he has in lying to anybody else. He knows his other half won't approve of this, as much as he can not approve of anything, so it's easier if he just doesn't know any of this is happening. That's why Sans deletes the latest messages off his phone as soon as he teleports over to said address and doesn't need it anymore. The other Sans doesn't want to hurt anybody. This Sans, well, he's the one who got stuck with all the anger and pent-up desire to get back at the people that hurt him.

This is ostensibly a kidnapping mission, but Sans looks for the generator first. If he's only coming back with one thing it's going to be that. Luckily, outdoor generators aren't hard to find. Can't unhook it yet--if he cuts the power it'll just make what's happening obvious--but now that he knows where it is he can deal with the rest.

The human is asleep. Easy to deal with like that. The meanest parts of Sans consider waking him up just to see the look on his face, but practicality (and guilt at being a terrible person, even if it's not enough guilt to stop him any more than it was enough to stop him from offering to do this in the first place) means he just places a hand on the guy's arm and vanishes with him. The bedsheet the human is tangled up in comes along, which makes for a funny image when Sans just dumps the guy unceremoniously on the floor.]

[It's a short time between sending the address and Sans's return, but enough for both Papyrus's to get themselves in the basement and close the door behind them - with the welding torch to the lock, even. They can break through the door as needed, Sans can teleport out... It's fine. It adds to the authenticity of the scene, the nicer one chirped as they welded, sure they'll be able to replace the lock easily enough once they're done here. Now the metal is still visibly warm, but cooling down, and the welding torch will make a good threatening prop.

Right now, though, the positive Papyrus has the shackles in hand, the better to work together on grabbing and restraining the thief once Sans appears with him. The added bedsheet is almost a hindrance for a moment, but it's hindrance to the disoriented human's attempt to escape negative Papyrus's grasp - and reason for him to yank arms behind the guy's back with vicious enjoyment.]

Oh no, what's this? [Negative Papyrus's voice has progressed to a lilting, autotuned version of himself, digital and coming from the speakers of his monitor head - full of unkind humor and faux sympathy.] A thief, stolen in turn? How unfortunate for you.

[An image of a cartoonish burglar in a mask and black&white striped attire, crying comedically in a prison cell, appears in the center of hi screen for a few seconds. He yanks the guy's arms again, helping positive Papyrus to lock them behind the guy's back... And then the skeletons pull back with a practiced-looking synchronicity, really just thanks to internal signals. It's ruined at the end by positive Papyrus turning to shoot a smile Sans's way.]

Thanks for your help! I'm sure we'll figure out something, that everyone can be happier with. [He directs the last more to the confused and agitated guy, talking over his words as need be (interrupting, as Papyrus usually never does). Negative Papyrus follows it up, with a more cynical:] Eventually.

[Sans looks all at the same time at the hot, orange metal, the short struggle with the thief (Sans doesn't help at all, of course), and the cartoon burglar display. Positive Papyrus is smiling at him, which somehow just adds to this scene.]

You really went all out, huh? [Seriously, welding the lock?] Well, I'm gonna go get the generator before anyone else steals it. Don't want the basement to get too crowded.

[Unless the Papyruses have any other requests, Sans will be off, though not for long. He'll drop the generator in Papyrus's workshop (probably inconvenient, but he's not leaving it outside unguarded, and anyway, it's only inconvenient for people who can't teleport objects around) and then come back. You know, continuing to only be marginally helpful, but where he can keep an eye on whatever's going to happen.]

[There's a pair of amused sounds at the parting quip - one pleasant and polite and placid, one static snicker hastily silence to focus on the situation. Sans delivered as promised, and that's not nothing, even to Papyrus's negative half. Neither argues his trip for the generator - negative Papyrus actually urges him on with an impatient huff.

Little has changed when Sans returns, it having only been a moment. The two Papyruses have cornered the human, already settling into a traditional pattern of good cop, bad cop over his stammered confusion and pleas.]

-just saying, if you had power, then I'm sure you saw our concerned message about it! [Positive Papyrus, the one speaking, tilts his skull at his counterpart and gestures to emphasize the cables connecting them.] As you can definitely see now, it's not just for fun stuff, as much as I'd like that... It's also an important, well, food source!

We'll starve without power. [Negative Papyrus drops the line with more enthusiasm than he's had for much the last few days, and his tone shifts into the accusing question:] Is that what you want?

[Ah, looks like Sans has gotten back in time for a good cop bad cop routine. Considering he can't watch TV right now, this is going to have to do. Even better, there's no rules in this basement about audience participation--or at least none Sans is going to pay attention to. Watching the thief squirm can't really be satisfying, but it feeds the part of him that just keeps getting angrier as the days go by. (The part of him that's stacking up LV from dead timelines, little by little.)]

[He interrupts the thief with a little interjection of his own, since Sans has never been too good to interrupt people.] If you're gonna say you weren't thinking about that, that's actually not a good option either.

[The human is wet with sweat and tears and snot already, and his fearful gaze darting between the three monsters promises he's not about to get any drier. "I-I didn't know, okay, didn't know there was... There were fucking robots here, I just needed my fr--"

Negative Papyrus interrupts him with a particularly grating feedback sound, one that even positive Papyrus shakes his head at, then continues speaking in an unconvincingly helpful tone.]

Okay, you are completely the wrong kind of afraid so far! Please get with the program of being a captive, locked in a basement - and answering the questions we actually asked you.

What did I just say? [Sans says, sighing, as the human launches right into "I didn't know". Humans, what can you do? Sans's face remains impressively impassive as the feedback screeches through his skull, but his distaste for the noise shows in the shifting of his feathers as they ruffle reflexively before he forces them back down.

He looks at the human's increasingly gross-looking face as Papyrus talks and and mostly just wishes he could have gotten the anomaly to look that way.] Pretty sure my bros were asking you if you wanted them to starve. Y'know, in case you forgot.

["Oh god, don't kill me, I-I don't have anything against you I swear," the human weeps, trying to tug an arm loose but flinching from the mix of feedback and the somewhat threatening repeated question. "You've gotta let me go, I have kids."]

I'm sure your kids can handle themselves for a couple of hours! [The positive Papyrus offers, god cop reassurance / cheerful dismissal all the way.] What's childhood without a couple of adventures of fending for yourselves, right?

You have kids, and you're running around gambling with prison, instead of asking for help...? [Negative Papyrus presses, ignoring his good cop's reassurance in favor of twisting the verbal knife a little, the better to keep up the anger rather than dwell on the sudden twist of worry and guilt he's getting.] That's not very good parenting of you!

[There's some reflexive guilt when the guy says he has kids, but not that much. Those are strangers, theoretical humans Sans can't picture. Between the LV and the loss of part of his soul, Sans's biggest issue is the weird guilt he feels about not feeling guilty, and he can mostly ignore that.]

I could go babysit. [He's not actually offering. He just wants to see the human freak out about that idea.]

["Don't you hurt them," the human pleads, or maybe growls - there's a whole mess of anger with himself and them alike, warring with fear and growing sense of helpless grief, as he tries to force himself back to his feet like that'll convince the monsters to send him back home. Freaking out, fully accomplished.

Negative Papyrus scoffs, pushing himself to sound less impressed than he is - if it's a story for sympathy, it's working, which really doesn't work with his plans of educational vengeance.]

Who's talking about hurting kids! I don't see any kids stealing generators around here, do you???

[Not to mention, it's unclear what being a kid would have to do with anything. If these hypothetical children are anything as willing to kill as a certain kid or flower he's run afoul of, from time to time...]

I'm just kidding. [Sans shrugs, casual, like this is a fun chat everybody is having.] Your kids didn't do anything to me.

[How many times did he threaten the human? The anomaly? It didn't matter which, really; Sans did it to both, and it didn't matter what they'd done. So maybe this guy's right to be worried about what he might do. But hey, in the end, Sans had been absolutely right about the anomaly's intentions. It's hard to feel that bad about it.]

["They wouldn't. They couldn't," the human insists, unaware of any other history of humans and monsters that might be haunting his captors as he wavers on his feet. Negative Papyrus scowls at the comment, then scoffs and leans in fast enough to spook the human against the wall with a metal on cement clang.]

Hey, go take a couple pictures of these 'kids'. [The monitor doesn't bother to turn Sans's way, and the tone is less request than demand, but it's pitched so it's clearly meant for him - it's not as if the other Papyrus would get to the house anytime soon.] Since he can't bother to stop crying and focus, maybe he needs a reassurance.

If you don't mind! [Positive Papyrus adds with a tone that's a mix of apology, what-can-you-do shrug, and reminder to his counterpart about manners. He tacks on another smile that doesn't really fit the situation, especially since he's joining the intimidating leaning.] But if you need to recuperate, that's fine!

[Sans chuckles darkly when the human says his kids couldn't hurt them, though for the moment he's done directly harassing the human. But apparently not done indirectly harassing them, when Papyrus tells him to go take pictures of this guy's kids like some sort of creepy weirdo.]

Y'don't have to be so bossy. [It's mild, but only because the human is here. He'd probably fight about it otherwise. Then he puts the lie to "done directly harassing the human", because he grins sharp-edged right at him.] I'll try not to wake 'em up.

[Sans vanishes.]

[The Papyruses either don't hear or don't heed the (mildly stated) irritation, as neither apologizes for it.

The human, unsurprisingly enough, doesn't appreciate any of these added complications, and protests about it. Pleading for the robots to call the-the angel of death back, this isn't his fault, they can't take it out on him when he's the only one the kids have... He's interrupted by a shove, and a shake, and being pushed towards a work bench.

In the human household, there's an electric lantern on the floor of the hallway the father had been when nabbed. It's between two doors, both of which are cracked a few inches open - one of which is clearly a kid's bedroom, with stickers of clouds, birds, and hot air balloons decorating it.]

[Sans stands poised between the two rooms, considering. Then he decides he's going to be extra helpful today and starts sending Papyrus live video to work with as he walks into the child's (or children's, maybe, Sans doesn't know yet) bedroom. He's perfectly silent. Years of sneaking up on people for laughs has paid off in the sneaking up on people for creepiness reasons department.]

[The multiplicity of Papyrus is surprised by the incoming video feed, with conflicting feelings about it. Cruel satisfaction, curious approval, and the perturbed distress of being brought to a situation he doesn't want to be party to... But the tracker doesn't speak up or prevent the feed, so the Papyruses in the basement pause their intimidation to take it in.

"Well, will you look at that," the monitorheaded Papyrus says. "A lovely home. Why not show it to our guest? So he knows how safe everyone is without him, for a while." His cheerful, pleasant counterpart obliges, taking his respective camera out to where they can all see it by eye, not just by connection. The human continues making fearful noises on behalf of his children through this home invasion.

In the child's bedroom, there's only one bed, yet. The kid within is smaller than Frisk, younger - just old enough to have started school, by the backpack by a little desk, but not old enough to be getting weighed down by much homework. The school supplies scattered across the desk include a couple crayons and an color by numbers sheet, no textbooks. The kid himself is asleep in bed, though he shifts with the change in the room's lighting.]

[Smaller than the anomaly/human. Should definitely be in stripes, even if humans don't do that here. (Even if they should probably start, now that there are monsters of all different shapes and sizes now.) They start shifting, and Sans freezes. The light shifts and darkens as he drags himself halfway into incorporeality. Not entirely--he needs his hands and the phone to exist on this plane so he can keep using them to record things. In lieu of actually being able to move closer, he zooms in.

He should feel worse about doing this. He doesn't. He's going to blame the LV and try not to think about it.]

["'m sleeping, dad," the kid mumbles, eyes still closed, having heard nothing too suspicious. He pulls his sheet over his head - whether to block the light from his eyes, or to prevent the forehead kisses of a nightly fatherly check-in.

In the basement, the father's noises skew to more pleading whimpers, and his gaze fixes on the screen, unable to risk not seeing it if something happens - the closest he can get to being there for them, right now. Neither Papyrus needs to stare at the screen to watch the feed as vividly, and negative Papyrus is caught up in the view - his shift in internal narration comes with an increasing distress that only conflicts painfully with the ongoing anger, fear, and need to do something about all this.

"He doesn't even know it's not you," he snaps to cover up his turmoil. "Not yet, and maybe not ever! Not if you just do what you're here to do."]

[The video cuts out. The guy mentioned kids plural, so Sans is going to go looking for another, but he doesn't really need to broadcast a tour of the human's house. Anyway, cutting out suddenly on a zoomed in image of the guy's kid is probably going to make that human make a hilarious face, even if Sans has trouble finding things hilarious when he's only half of himself.

Teleporting back out to the hallway, Sans starts checking the other rooms for signs of other kids.]

[It doesn't take a full tour of the house - the next ajar door proves to be another bedroom, one with a full size bed rather than a kid's twin. The limited decorations to the room are more adult, for the most part - a few articles of clothing over a chair, a suitcase by a closet door, some photographs and paintings on the walls.

On the bed, though, is a teddy bear. And a few feet from the bed, a colorful mobile playing a faint lullaby hangs from the ceiling. Below it, a crib stands out from the room's overall decor, and a soft voice burbles incoherently from within it. The baby, if examined, is several months old - old enough for hair, and for eyes to widen at the general figure of light approaching.

In the basement, the human's making choked up sounds, and the Papyrus with the monitor has gone dead silent. The other one coos at the sight - either not noticing the change in the mood, or taking the opportunity to assert a new one.]

[Oh, this is a baby. Sans hasn't actually seen many humans this small up close. Sure, there's plenty in the city, but he's not exactly stopping people to ask to see them. There's some degree of simple curiosity that makes Sans approach. There's nobody here to stop him, after all. If the baby freaks out, he can just leave.

All of Sans's positive emotions are with the other Sans. Still, Sans can't bring himself to have the kind of paranoia he has for kids with a baby. He leans over the crib, still curious, though considering he's absolutely silent this may look more ominous over video.]

[Sans is silent, and that leaves a lot of audio space free for the Papyruses to hear the choked weeping and comments about "formula" and "fridge" and "just needed, just need" coming out from the father.

But it's not a creepily fully silent scene, not with the monitor's lullaby playing in the background, or the baby continuing to babble at this mystery person. No freaking out - if anything, he reaches a curious little hand up in an attempt to grab, or at least pat, at the glowing figure.

Positive Papyrus's adoring cooing gets louder at the sight of the little fingers curling and spreading near the video feed, blurred as they get with the camera's focus on the baby's face. Negative Papyrus turns on the human (mind still focused on the feed of the video) and demands to know, why would he risk getting caught - getting jailed - if he's responsible for such a tiny human?? What was he thinking? Why not just... ask for help??? It's a break from the bad cop persona, entirely too earnest anger - and if there's some tangle of hurt essential to Papyrus's personality over the pain of a father disappearing in childhood, he doesn't have the multitasking to examine it closely.]

[The video shifts as Sans moves the phone to one of his invisible arms so he can reach out with one of his normal ones. Honestly, even adding monster babies to the equation, it's been a while since Sans has been this close to any. He has memories of Papyrus grabbing onto his fingers, of trying to pick him up when he was a baby bones, although Sans was young enough that this human seems even smaller. There might not be that much of a real difference, though.

He doesn't want to be thinking about those memories. There's no warmth in them as long as Sans is like this, just bitterness at the voids and gaps in his memory, like something got ripped out of them. This baby and their sibling--there's probably a similar gap in age as the one between himself and Papyrus. Another fact that sits strangely while he lacks half his emotional range.

He lets the baby touch him before extracting himself, taking a few steps back from the crib like the baby might be able to follow him if he doesn't. No reason to be hanging around here anymore, he got he footage. The video stops, and Sans reappears in the basement an instant later.]

[The baby's gaze follows him, at least, eyes not able to take in all the details of what's going on but fascinated by the glow he could feel. Another little babbling serves as a farewell as Sans disappears.

In the basement, things haven't exactly resolved. The Papyrus who can smile is doing so, eyes soft with residual proximity to baby, and only vaguely glances in Sans's direction as he returns. The other Papyrus...

"-get it, okay, I get it, I'm sorry, but... You gotta see, I need power for his formula, he's... he can't eat food yet," the human is telling him, arms trembling from trying to tug out of the home-made shackles again.]

Okay, that all sounds great and all - but you had to steal for that??? You couldn't... ask to buy the generator, or knock on the door to ask to share the fridge, or something?? Those are normal people things to do!!

[The good cop / bad cop scenario has been abandoned in favor of Papyrus just yelling back at the captive. There's a guilty sweat to his face as he raises his voice with each exchange, like if he wins the argument through volume he'll be able to 'compromise' with a return home.]

[Things seem to have gotten kind of sidetracked while Sans was gone. It sounds like they're talking about the baby--something about what kind of food babies have to eat. Sans doesn't really know a lot about how that works.]

You could've just stolen someone else's. Someone who isn't a robot. [Sans offers, helpfully. He doesn't really care about this guy being a thief except for how he stole from them specifically.

Papyrus... Looks guilty, actually. Having second thoughts, maybe. Kind of late for that.]

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important decisions for this thread: how sympathetic to make the thief

this is a good question even though negative sans doesn't really care

cw for anyone reading this - uhhhh accidental child endangerment? kidnapping is bad

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in this thread: creepy weirdo shit continues

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